ohh we’re half way there! oh-oh livin’ on a prayer!

i’m officially half way done with the race… 

if you were able to read my mind 4 1/2 months ago you would have seen how terrrified i was and how i told myself i just had to make it a month and then i could go home, because at least i tried to make it right? 

4 1/2 months ago i had never left the country, gone on a mission trip, or even been away from my family for more than 5 days (and that was hard even with constant cell service).

4 1/2 months ago i just wanted to be adventurous and love on people.

4 1/2 months ago i only ate plain cheeseburgers, plain pizza, and never wanted to try new food.

4 1/2 months ago i didn’t know how i could put all the clothes i “needed” into one book bag.

4 1/2 months ago i wanted to be in control of my life.

4 1/2 months ago i thought a mission trip was going to another country and loving on people and cute babies.

4 1/2 months ago i struggled to share my stuff with my two sisters.

4 1/2 months ago i didn’t understand how relational God was.

4 1/2 months ago i didn’t know how much i needed these 4 1/2 months.

in 4 1/2 months i fell in love with this life and couldn’t dream of anything besides this.

in 4 1/2 months i’ve gone to 4 countries (i got stuck in Colombia for a few days, it counts).

in 4 1/2 months i’ve learned that i don’t always have to call my mom and ask her advice on what to eat or where to go or whether or not i should say yes to certain things (even though i still do sometimes because she always knows what to say) but i’ve been doing pretty good at asking God for advice and i’m really proud of this decision. 

in 4 1/2 months i’ve learned that it’s pretty scary to be adventurous but God has called me brave and has never left me or failed me when he calls me to step out into the unknown. 

in 4 1/2 months i’ve learned that yes, i do forever want to love on those around me but, bringing a love and a hope that’s never failing is so much better than any way i could love someone on my own (you were right grandma!).

in 4 1/2 months i’ve learned that cheeseburgers are actually pretty good with all the stuff that’s suppose to be on them, guinea pig isn’t so bad, and people want to serve you by making you meals so eat up even if you don’t know what it is and if you already ate 3 lunches before that because of other home visits.

in 4 1/2 months i learned that i actually don’t need a new outfit every day of the month and you can make some pretty cool combonations with the 4 t-shirt’s, 2 flannels, and 3 pairs of pants that you have. plus the clothes i bought at the thrift store in guat. 

in 4 1/2 months i learned that missions is a way of life. Missions is: construction for a sex trafficking safe house, being an english teacher, playing volleyball with women, praying for strangers on the bus. it’s a lifestyle.

in 4 1/2 months i learned to let go of trying to control my life and let God be in control.

in 4 1/2 months i learned what it’s like to walk in intimacy with God and how relational He really is. i’ve said goodbye to the idea of religion and am loving learning and growing along side my Father.

in 4 1/2 months i learned what it’s like to live in and love community. i can’t imagine going home and having my own room. i honestly want 4 other girls sharing it and a bathroom with me. and 40 other people sharing the little clothes i have.

in 4 1/2 months i’ve grown more than i ever thought i would and am proud to say i’ve made it and can’t wait for the other half.

in the next 4 1/2 months i pray i continue to step into the uncomfortability because every time without fail i’ve seen so much fruit come of it.

in the next 4 1/2 months i pray to be more vulnerable about this amazing, challenging journey.

in the next 4 1/2 months i pray i’ll ask more questions and dive deeper into them.

in the next 4 1/2 months i pray i’ll never take these people or this adventure for granted.

in the next 4 1/2 months i pray that i’ll show those i meet that they are so unconditionally loved and forgiven by their father in heaven.

in the next 4 1/2 months i pray that i’ll always seek understanding.

in the next 4 1/2 months i pray to be interruptible. that people will feel welcomed and that if they have questions (even though i don’t know all the answers) or need prayer or wonder why i have the joy i do, that they will come to me. 

in the next 4 1/2 months i pray i’ll press into the parts of me where i have unbelief and never give up on the mission in front of me.

in the next 4 1/2 months i pray i’ll be more thankful.

in the next 4 1/2 months i pray i’ll be more like Christ. Loving, accepting, encouraging, brave, obedient, forgiving, slow to anger, thankful, bold, comforting, compassionate, faithful, a friend, genuine, vulnerable, joyful, patient, understanding, and selfless.

so yea i’m half way there! and i’m really living on these prayers.