sick of sick

being on the race comes with a billion different emotions. new ones everyday and even some that stick around for a while.

before coming on the race i needed to get my tonsils out however with the long recovery time for people my age it just didn’t fit in the schedule of school, graduating, and getting ready to leave on a 9 month mission trip. so i still have the little suckers in my throat.

for the majority of the race i’ve been very healthy. i can’t thank God enough for that and for blessing who knows what that food is that goes into my body. however, with still having my tonsils it has caused me to be sick now a third time. 

homesickness is something i expected to struggle with BIG time when leaving home but it hasn’t really been that hard for me. again, so thankful for the peace and comfort God has poured out over me. of course i love and miss my amazing family but i also love this family that i get to travel the world with and i know right now i’m right where i’m suppose to be, it’s literally so evident and i’m shown that everyday. 

holidays are a time when you would also expect to struggle more than other days with being homesick but once again it wasn’t that challenging for me. i got to talk to my family and it was nice but i know just like this christmas, thanksgiving, birthday etc that i’ve missed, when i come home it will be there for me the same and i’ve loved getting to experience holidays with the 40 once strangers but now family members i do life with. 

this week however, for the first time really, i was homesick. not because i wanted to go home but because i wanted the comfort of my mom, the doctors in the states, medicine that was in english, whatever food i wanted, and a bath! being sick isn’t fun no matter where you are but for me being sick just seemed a little more doable with those little comforts. so as i laid in my twin bunk bed and tried curling up in a ball under the shower head to get warm or tried to swallow my sandwhich for lunch that i had to eat with my medicine that i struggled to understand because it was in another language i cried, i cried a lot and it hurt. 

then when crying to my mom on facetime i realized how thankful i am for the people here. my mom would ask “did you go to the doctor?” “did you get medicine?” “do you have tea?” but every question she would ask my heart was so comforted with my answer. “yes, mom jackie took me to the doctor and rubbed my back as i cried.” “yes, i got a prescription and jackie paid for it because my money hadn’t all processed yet.” “yes, mom i had so much tea that the base provided.” “yes, my friends stopped at the store and picked me up a decongestant on the way home from ministry.” “yes, i took my medicine at night with food because sav gave me one of her pop tarts.” “yes, my teammates taught my students for me.” “yes, people sat with me and prayed for me.” every need that i had was met and met with such love and from so many different people in so many different ways.

this week my friend Phillip and his team did a teaching on sacrificial love. sacrificial love is literally sacrificing something of yourself to love someone else better. 

this week all i experienced was sacrificial love! from my family at home and my family with me in Guatemala. the love i was given looked different on both sides but both parties showed me what’s it like to really love someone.

as i turned of my 24 hour international data today i was sad to hang up the phone with my mom for a little while but i’m thankful to be living with this family for 3 more months and honestly getting really sad for the day i have to say goodbye.